Jan 28, 2008


Love: I love my students, Carol LOVES the snow.

PEACE:Amazingly I think I have it right now, certianly the kind that is beyond understanding.

PATIENCE:I have it right now, but you can pray that it lasts the 300 mile drive home.

Kindness:Our volunteers who have taken time off to come up here and serve.

Goodness:The friendly man at the autoshop who is going to look at our broken car, even though he is snowed in.

Faithfulness: The snow is falling faithfully we have had about 2 feet in the last 24 hours.

Self-control: Britany and me havn't lost it yet.

Against such things there is no Law.

Funny how God has a way of bringing scripture to life :)

Jan 25, 2008

storm watch

This image I found today was titled "Before the Storm"

My friends this is where I am headed for the weekend. Oh joy.

I am taking a group of Sr. High students to spend the weekend at South Lake Tahoe. Please keep us (keep me) in your prayers. I am actually looking forward to the trip, but that may just be my need for a vacation out weighing the storm watch headlines.

In all seriousness, I think that this trip has the potential to be great, and I want to have a great time with the students who are coming. So please pray for safe travels, safety on the slopes (not me, of course with the foot and all) and for students to really have hearts and minds challenged this weekend by God through the times of worship and messages. I might have a chance to post while we are away, but don't count on it.

Thanks for your prayers.

Jan 24, 2008

heart of the matter

I just finished catching up on my friend Melinda's blog. After reading her post titledDouble Non Fat Irish Cream Latte I found myself thinking about all of the people I know who have lost someone lately that they had come to love, and count on to be around. It seems there is not much we can do to prepare for or prevent the loss of someone we have come to so utterly depend upon. Whether it is death or something else that removes us from those we have become attached loss is never an easy process.

It is amazing to me how quickly I become attached to those around me, even after times of great heartbreak when I swore never again to allow myself to become so attached I find myself still surrounded by those I love. The thought of ever having to go through the immense sadness if anyone of these souls and I should have to part is heart wrenching.

So I am left to wonder how do we continue to give ourselves fully to those we love with the knowledge that we will at some point be left without them. I don't mean this to be a depressing post, just an honest look at the heart that hurts for those who are in the midst of this sort of painful loss. My sympathy.

I guess love it all boils down to the fact that love requires risk and that means if we are going to love we are going to risk the pain of that love being taken from us.

"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" - though trite, really seems to be the answer here.


As a child a favorite phrase of mine was, "say what you mean and mean what you say." This came to mind yesterday as I was giving my sister Lizzie a hard time for not saying what she meant. Instead she was relying on the Jr. Higher's "you know what I meant" whine. To which I quickly retorted, "no, I don't."

This quick interchange got me to thinking, how I still value this childhood sentiment. How I wish people would just get to the point, state their feelings, and mean not only what they say, but realize the effects of their actions.

Lizzie is not really just using a Jr. High fall back, often we use the same reasoning..."they'll figure out what I meant."

What if instead of living with this assumption that others will go through the work of deciphering what we are actually trying to say, we just man up and say what it is that we really want to say?

The implications are many.

Is honesty really the best policy? I don't know. I want to believe that it is. I want to trust that if I were able to take on the difficult work of only saying and acting in absolute truth that it would result in better things for all involved. I just don't know.

Jan 16, 2008

things you don't want to hear in an ER...

The steps going down to my humble apartment are what one may expect, slippery when wet. Yet they sure caught me off guard Tuesday night as I made my way down the uneven pathway to my little home. Down being the operative word. As my slick soled FloJo (flip flop to those of you who don't know)made contact with equally slippery surface of the redwood portion of my stair and I found myself on the ground before I even realized I was falling. Actually, very little of me came in contact with the surface, mostly just my the top right section of my right foot. Being my mothers daughter I am quite accustom to falling, so even though it hurt (a lot) since I really, really needed to pee, I picked myself up and made it the rest of the way to my restroom. A minute later, my friend Brandon arrived, and let himself in, and by that time my foot had not only turned lovely shades of black and blue it had also become quite puffy. It was clear that our pasta dinner plans had just been tossed out the window,as I phoned my Dad to take me down to emergency.

Being the amazing Dad that he his, he kindly rushed over and helped me hobble back up my many steps, dirt stick covered path to his waiting car. We tried with no avail to make it to the local Urgent Care before the 9pm closing and then made our way down to the E.R. Where we were to sit for the next 3 hours.

The first hour or so, the waiting room was actually quite full, and the TV was tuned to AMC and Death Wish II. Not really the kind of movie I suspect most people who are waiting in for a doctor are in the mood to watch. Filled with scenes of blood, and dying, rape and people creating false identities to work in hospitals. As comforting as that was, I was pretty jazzed when we were the only ones left on our side of the room and got to change to the Food Network just in time to watch Anthony Bourdain eat the still beating heart of a cobra. Now I realize that while this still might not be something most people in a hospital waiting room would find comforting it is like being at home for me. And it provided just enough of a distraction to take my mind off of the pain shooting though my foot. Apparently two other people who walked in agreed and made their way over to our corner of the world to join us in the stomach wrenching fun.

It was right between the switch in Television programing that a nurse came out of the back to get a guy (who had apparently brought someone else in)saying to him, "I think she wants to say goodbye." Are you kidding me? This is not something you want to hear a nurse say. Perhaps a better choice of words would have been, "She is okay enough to stay without you so she wants to talk to you before you take off for the night." I don't know anything but, "I think she wants to say goodbye."

Of course there are other things you might not want to hear in the E.R., I know I was not pleased to hear that I had broken my foot, and that meant 6-8 weeks on crutches.

Yep, so not what I wanted to hear, but better than..."I think she wants to say goodbye."

Jan 13, 2008

I think it is safe to say that I have decided on my personal favorite theater experience this year. Sad to say that it is not a 2007 Golden Globe nominated film. It is however the best film I saw in a theater in the 2007 year. My favorite film that I viewed in a theater was Casablanca. Which for those of you who know my history with this movie may surprise you. For those of you who don't know, I used to hate this movie, but looking back I think it is because I saw it for the first time when I was too young to appreciate it. Seeing it at the Del Mar on the big screen, how it was meant to be seen made this film almost magical.

I held out for a long time, before deciding on my top film for the year, wanting to have seen all that there was to see, but after Fridays trip to the Nickelodeon to see Atonement, I have lost hope that there was in fact a film worthy of an award for best picture this year.
That is not to say that I hated Atonement, only the last half of it left me truly disappointed. I was able to lose myself in the first few scenes of the film. I liked the characters well enough, but from the moment the plot jumped four years ahead to WWII the film lost it's appeal for me. It seemed to lose all of its rhythm, and the love story fell into a heap as it became more and more unclear what was truth.
Maybe it is this lack of fine tuned story telling in the assortment of films to hit the big screen this year that has left me with no options. It seems like Hollywood has lost its ability to tell us a good story.
Sure we have more special effects, and more creative editing, and more money, but what is all of that worth if we have lost the ability to tell the story well...

Here is a list of all of the movies of 2007:

"11th Hour"
"2 Days In Paris"
"28 Weeks Later"
"30 Days Of Night"
"3:10 To Yuma"
"Aaja Nachle"
"Across The Universe"
"After Dark Horrorfest 2007"
"After The Wedding"
"Air Guitar Nation"
"All The Boys Love Mandy Lane"
"Alone With Her"
"Alvin And the Chipmunks Movie"
"The Amateurs"
"Amazing Grace"
"American Gangster"

"An Unreasonable Man"
"Alpha Dog"
"Aqua Teen Movie"
"Arctic Tale"
"Are We Done Yet?"
"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
"The Astronaut Farmer"
"August Rush"
"Avenue Montaigne"
"AVP2 - Alien Vs Predator 2"
"Away From Her"
"Balls Of Fury"
"Because I Said So"
"Becoming Jane"
"Bee Movie"
"Before The Devil Knows You're Dead"
"Believe In Me"
"Beyond The Gates"
"Bhool Bhulaiyaa"
"Black Book"
"Black Irish"
"Black Sheep"
"Black Snake Moan"
"Blade Runner: Final Cut"
"Blades Of Glory"
"Blind Dating"
"Blonde Ambition"
"Blood And Chocolate"
"The Bourne Ultimatum"
"Bratz Movie"
"The Brave One"
"Bridge To Terabithia"
"Broken English"
"The Brothers Solomon"
"The Bubble"
"The Bucket List"
"Catch And Release"
"Charlie Wilson's War"
"Christmas In Wonderland"
"Civic Duty"
"Closing Escrow"
"Code Name: The Cleaner"
"Colour Me Kubrick"
"The Comebacks"
"The Counterfeiters"
"Cut Sleeve Boys"
"Daddy Day Camp"
"Daddy's Little Girls"
"Dan In Real Life"
"Dans Paris"
"Darfur Now"
"The Darjeeling Limited"
"Dark Blue Almost Black"
"Day Watch"
"Dead Silence"
"Death At A Funeral"
"Death Sentence"
"December Boys"
"Deep Water"
"Delta Farce"
"The Devil Came On Horseback"
"Die Hard 4"
"The Diving Bell And Butterfly"
"D War"
"Dynamite Warrior"
"Eagle vs Shark"
"Eastern Promises"
"El Cantante"
"Eleven Men Out"
"Elizabeth 2: The Golden Age"
"Epic Movie"
"Evan Almighty"
"Everything's Gone Green"
"The Ex"
"Eye Of The Dolphin"
"Fantastic Four 2"
"Fat Girls"
"Fay Grim"
"Feast of Love"
"Feel The Noise"
"Fierce People"
"Final Season"
"Finishing The Game"
"Firehouse Dog"
"First Snow"
"The Flock"
"The Flying Scotsman"
"Forgiving The Franklins"
"For The Bible Tells Me So"
"Fred Claus"
"Freedom Writers"
"Freshman Orientation"
"Full Of It"
"The Game Plan"
"Georgia Rule"
"Ghost Rider"
"God Grew Tired of Us"
"The Golden Compass"
"Gone Baby Gone"
"Good Luck Chuck"
"The Good Night"
"Goya's Ghosts"
"Grace Is Gone"
"Gray Matters"
"The Great Debaters"
"Great World Of Sound"
"Hair High"
"Hairspray The Movie"
"Halloween 2007"
"Hannah Takes The Stairs"
"Hannibal Rising"
"Happily Never After"
"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Movie"
"The Hawk Is Dying"
"The Heartbreak Kid"
"He Was A Quiet Man"
"The Hills Have Eyes 2"
"Hip Hop Project"
"The Hitcher 2007"
"The Hoax"
"The Host"
"Hostel 2"
"Hot Fuzz"
"Hot Rod"
"The Hottest State"
"How To Cook Your Life"
"The Hunting Party"
"I Am Legend"
"I Know Who Killed Me"
"Illegal Tender"
"I'm Not There"
"Inner Life Of Martin Frost"
"I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry"
"Into The Wild"
"The Invasion"
"In The Land Of Women"
"In The Shadow of the Moon"
"In The Valley of Elah"
"Introducing The Dwights"
"The Invisible"
"Ira And Abby"
"The Italian"
"I Think I Love My Wife"
"Itty Bitty Titty Committee"
"I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With"
"The Jane Austen Book Club"
"Jhoom Barabar Jhoom"
"Jimmy Carter Man From Plains"
"Joe Strummer"
"Kickin' It Old Skool"
"King Corn"
"The Kingdom"
"The King of California"
"The King Of Kong"
"The Kite Runner"
"Knocked Up"
"Lady Chatterley"
"Lake Of Fire"
"Lars And The Real Girl"
"The Last Legion"
"The Last Mimzy"
"The Last Sin Eater"
"The Last Winter"
"La Vie En Rose"
"License To Wed"
"The Life Of Reilly"
"Lions For Lambs"
"Live Free Or Die"
"The Lives of Others"
"Local Color"
"Lonely Hearts"
"The Lookout"
"Love In The Time Of Cholera"
"Lucky You"
"Lust Caution"
"Margot At The Wedding"
"Martian Child"
"Maxed Out"
"Meeting Resistance"
"Meet The Robinsons"
"The Messengers"
"Michael Clayton"
"Midnight Eagle"
"A Mighty Heart"
"The Mist"
"Mr. Bean's Holiday"
"Mr. Brooks"
"Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
"Mr. Untouchable"
"Mr. Woodcock"
"Moondance Alexander"
"Moving McAllister"
"Music & Lyrics"
"The Music Within"
"My Best Friend"
"My Kid Could Paint That"
"Naked Boys Singing"
"The Namesake"
"Nancy Drew"
"The Nanny Diaries"
"National Lampoon's Beach Party At The Threshold Of Hell"
"National Lampoon's Electric Apricot"
"National Treasure 2"
"Nightmare Before Christmas 3D"
"Nina's Heavenly Delights"
"The Nines"
"No Country For Old Men"
"No End In Sight"
"Nomad: The Warrior"
"No Reservations"
"The Number 23"
"Ocean's 13"
"O Jerusalem"
"Om Shanti Om"
"The Orphanage"
"Out Of The Blue"
"Paris, je t'aime"
"Partner" A Bollywood Film
"Peaceful Warrior"
"The Perfect Holiday"
"Perfect Stranger"
"Pirates Of The Caribbean 3"
"The Prisoner or: How I Planned To Kill Tony Blair"
"Private Fears In Public Places"
"PS I Love You"
"Race You To The Bottom"
"Rails & Ties"
"Raising Flagg"
"Randy And The Mob"
"The Reaping"
"Red Line"
"Red Road"
"Reign Over Me"
"Reno 911: Miami"
"Reservation Road"
"Resident Evil 3"
"Return With Honor"
"Rescue Dawn"
"Resurrecting The Champ"
"Revenge Of The Nerds 2007"
"Right At Your Door"
"Rocket Science"
"Romance And Cigarettes"
"Rush Hour 3"
"Sarah Landon"
"Sasquatch Gang"
"The Savages"
"Saw 4"
"Sea of Dreams"
"The Seeker: Dark Is Rising"
"Self Medicated"
"September Dawn"
"Seraphim Falls"
"Shoot Em Up"
"Shortcut To Happiness"
"Shrek 3"
"The Simpsons Movie"
"Skid Marks"
"Slow Burn"
"Smiley Face"
"Smokin' Aces"
"Snow Cake"
"Southland Tales"
"Spiderman 3"
"Starter For Ten"
"Starting Out In The Evening"
"Stephanie Daley"
"Stomp The Yard"
"Strength And Honor"
"Surf's Up"
"Sweeney Todd Movie"
"Sydney White"
"Talk To Me"
"Tears of the Black Tiger"
"The Ten"
"The Ten Commandments: Animated Movie"
"Ten Til Noon"
"TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)"
"Terror's Advocate"
"There Will Be Blood"
"Things We Lost In The Fire"
"This Christmas"
"This Is England"
"Tortilla Heaven"
"Trade""Transformers The Movie"
"The Tripper"
"The TV Set"
"Two Weeks"
"Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?"
"The Ultimate Gift"
"The Unknown Soldier"
"The Valet"
"The Walker"
"Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"
"The Water Horse"
"The Wendell Baker Story"
"We Own The Night"
"What Would Jesus Buy?"
"Who's Your Caddy"
"Wild Hogs"
"Wind Chill"
"The Wind That Shakes The Barley"
"Year Of The Dog"
"You Kill Me"
"Your Mommy Kills Animals"
"Youth Without Youth"

Jan 7, 2008

One Fish Two Dead Little Blue Fish

So I guess the guy at the pet store might have been correct. My no name Blue Fish has died, and taken a trip down stream.

Jan 5, 2008

Friends in High Places

I am lucky enough to have some friends who are doing big things with their lives. As I was chatting with my friends lately about their endeavors to start up new buisnesses along with my own I thought I might take a chance to offer some free promotion to those of my friends who are just starting out.

So check these sites out

By Hand Writing

Photo Edge

When you cry the whole world cries with you...

I don't know if that is an actual saying or just something that my mind has complied into a saying that fits my week. (now I am thinking it was originally when you smile)Whatever the case I started crying on Wednesday when one of my students went missing, and with all of the rain that we have right now, it sure seems like the whole world is crying with me. As it should. The world should be in grief over the state of our youth culture, where lives are being torn apart by early introductions to a messed up grown up lifestyle. Where teens are expected to grow up fast, and yet are unprepared to do so, where they are not only experimenting with drugs but using them, not only depressed but showing it on their arms as the let their own blood flow to ease the pain they are holding inside. My heart it broken not just for my student who has left home, but for the many students who are experiencing similar situations. For the Jr. Higher's who are out late, alone, lost in a world they stumbled into, for those who have been sent away to get the help that they cannot find here, for the kids who are having to be moms and dads because their parents are acting like kids. My heart is broken and I weep as does the world outside. And I cry for the parents who have lost hope who have no more answers and who feel like they have lost all ability to relate. I grieve for you all and for our society as it only seems to be deteriorating faster.

Jan 2, 2008

One Fish Two Fish Now I Have Me A Blue Fish

For Christmas one of my students Brianna wanted to get me a new fish. It was not till today that we both had time to go pick out the new addition to my fishy family. We made the most of the time though, and went to lunch at Sweet Pea Cafe, for amazing crepes. While waiting on our order Brianna, Lizzie (my little sister) and I played a few rounds of cards. I totally lost the first time but I redeemed myself, and beat the pants of them in the last round. After enjoying our various crepe creations we headed back to Scotts Valley to the pet store. As we drove Brianna read my new book, Nasty Bits by Anthony Bordain out loud to us. Man can we multi task. Lizzie finds my taste in books despicable, but I think I won Brianna over.

We arrived at the pet store slightly more educated on fish, or at least how one might enjoy seal if they ever needed to. With our new found appreciation for fish we headed inside to pick out the newest fish for my office. We spent a good while looking at each tank, and finally we picked out the fish pictured.

Again the guy at the pest, oops I mean pet store questioned my ability to raise fish. Concerned by my apparent lack of concern for his advice on mixing other fish with my gold fish. This one is tropical but not salt water, I would have maybe paid him slightly more heed had the tank at the store even been hearted, but it was icy cold, so if the tropics are chilly this time of year, than I suppose his point was valid. I will take my chances, seeing as last time they said I needed a 30 gallon tank for two little gold fish. I did get the tropical flakes for my new fish to munch on, only to get back and discover they contain all of the same ingredients as the gold fish flakes, except with shrimp added to enhance the color. Which the guy at the pet store said we did not need, the shrimp that is.

Seriously I think these pet store people take the fish selling a bit to seriously, its not like I am buying them to torture them or feed them to other fish, just for sport. I know some people do that, but would I really spend 30 min picking out a fish just to turn around and feed it to another fish? It's not like they are good at taking care of the fish they have in the store, all the tanks are dirty and there are dead fish floating in some.

Okay so that was a defendant rant. And kinda random, so I guess I wrote it on the appropriate blog. And of course with the new fish comes the task of naming yet another member of my fishy family. He (it could be a she, but I like boys better) is the only one without a partner, and it looks like it is sporting a mohawk so give me some names...

quotes i love

  • "they will never care how much you know until they know how much you care."
  • "never be afraid to trust a well known God with an unknown future." - Corrie Ten Boom
  • "God doesn't need you, He loves you, that is much better."
  • "the world has yet to see what God can do through a man/woman who is totally commited to him." - D.L. Moody
  • "be who you is, cause if is ain't who you is, you is who you ain't."-
  • "some people say movies should be more like real life. I say real life should be more like the movies."