Sep 26, 2008

odd find

Let me know your thoughts....

Mr. Darcy

The blog is called random rants and ramblings and yet there has been a lack of that here as of late. Never fear. Let the rambling rant ensue...

I am in the middle of a series of fictional novels (a form of reading I am rarely into) based on Jane Austins character of Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. A character that lets be honest I have come to love. Though at first I would have to join Elizabeth Bennet and later Bridget Jones in my initial dislike of Mr. Darcy, I have succumb to the pull of his reserved charm.

This is perhaps why I was willing to pick up this fictional look at his side of the story. Seeking to in someway understand this guarded man of mystery perhaps just a bit better. I was captured by the first book from page one. The second took more effort on my part, a willingness to let go of the story I know and leave the beaten path following Mr. Darcy's story on a rabbit trail of sorts. My hope of knowing his character better allowed me to stay with the book when normally I would have set it aside for another.

The thing is, while I am enjoying the delve into the back story and the chance to gain some understanding of this brooding man, I find myself frustrated that the books are authored not by a male but by one of my own sex.

Why should it matter? I know it's only a book, that he is merely a character created in fact by one of the female persuasion. I think it is the idea that somewhere within my own female psyche I want Mr. Darcy to exist, maybe I even believe he does. In that Prince Charming sort of way. I know that I am not alone in this, if I was Bridget Jones would have never made it, nor would Jane Austins beautiful story. The reason those stories have captured the female following it has is not because of their leading ladies alone. We watch and read them again and again because somewhere deep down we have allowed Mr. Darcy to become our Prince Charming and we want him to exist, just as little girls dream of their Prince, we dream of finding our Mr. Darcy.

So I/we pick up these new tales of Mr. Darcy not only in hopes of discovering more about our fictional crush, but with the hope of discovering the key to finding and then understanding our own brooding man.x

We want answers, insight into the male mind. we want to know why he acts as he does, what our response should be to his every move and glance. Does it mean something, or is he just constipated or perhaps he has gas.

This is why I find myself enjoying the books but not satisfied. Because while I feel they do much for the fictional depth of Mr. Darcy's character, they are still written by a woman. They in reality offer no insight into my understanding of the Mr. Darcy I am hoping for or dreaming of. They are only a woman's opinion on what could be, the author has only put in writing what we hope for, nothing more. In a way she has just taken my own mild obsession with Mr. Darcy a step or leap farther, creating more of the man we wish existed.

For those of you who are now worried about my sanity, rest assured that I do not believe that Mr. Darcy exists or that he will walk into Coffee Cat and look down his nose at those he finds to be odd or idle. If this series can be any use in reality it's authorship has proven to me once again that Mr. Darcy is nothing more than a grown up version of the fairytale Prince of my childhood.

Sep 19, 2008


Ahoy! In honor of "Talk like a Pirate Day"
I am setting sail for good ol'Disneyland with me family.
I know ye all be jealous.

Sep 18, 2008

no rest for the weary

I can't sleep.

That's not true...what I mean is I cannot get good sleep.

I am tired at 11pm I go to bed. I read. The words begin to move about the page, so I set the book down, turn off the light and then...poof...I am wide awake.

Last night and two nights ago you can add and freezing cold to the wide awake. I lay there. Trying to sleep, ignoring the cold. Or trying to ignore the cold.

I give up. Turn the stupid heater on, jump in a really hot shower. Just stand there till I am no longer numb.

Make my way back to bed. Pick up my book. Words blend. My eyes give up and I sleep!

But then I am restless, I toss I turn I think. I think too much. Even in my sleep I am constantly running over things. I wake up suddenly with a song stuck in my head.

Finally I sleep a bit more.

This morning at 6:30 the phone rings. I answer assuming someone must be dying.

Nope. Wrong number. Wrong number at 6:30 in the morning. Who calls people especially the wrong people at 6:30?

I try to fall back into the dream that I at least hope I was having.

Its gone. Morning has won.

So now it's 2:15pm and its safe to say that while my eyes are brain is falling in and out of sleep.

Sep 15, 2008


I don't know about you, but sometimes I need change. For me it is often a sudden if not spontaneous urge. It is usually something little, often unnoticed, like driving a different route to and from normal locals. But sometimes I am in need of a more noticeable shift, a new job or something. This time it was somewhere between taking a new road and getting a new job. I dyed my hair.

If we have met you may be thinking big change your hair often enough. True. Thanks for noticing. But normally when I switch my hair I leave it to the professionals. This time I took matters into my own spontaneous hands.

On Saturday my plans went out the window, I was restless, so I took myself down to the local drug store with the color black in mind. Upon arrival I realized I was not in the mood for black and I had done it before. So I picked out a color called "cherry chocolate mousse." Why I was in the mood for food colored hair I still don't know, but it was what caught my fancy.

Back at the bungalow I mixed up the dye and went to work applying my yummy sounding but not so great smelling hair product. Then comes the hard part. Waiting. I sat. I then rinsed and dried and applied the highlights. Again the waiting. The rinsing, drying and styling. Ahhh...Wa-la A little longer than an hour after my intial inclination for change I went from light brown, to deep red.

Until that moment I had never in my life considered what I would look like with dark red hair with highlights. But there I was looking at the new version of me in the mirror. Change can be scary...but it is also fun. Its been three days, and I like the red. Who knows how long it will last, but for now I am kinda liking the change.

quotes i love

  • "they will never care how much you know until they know how much you care."
  • "never be afraid to trust a well known God with an unknown future." - Corrie Ten Boom
  • "God doesn't need you, He loves you, that is much better."
  • "the world has yet to see what God can do through a man/woman who is totally commited to him." - D.L. Moody
  • "be who you is, cause if is ain't who you is, you is who you ain't."-
  • "some people say movies should be more like real life. I say real life should be more like the movies."