I wasn't going to write this blog, because it seemed, I don't know whiny, but now I have more so hear me out.
I went to see He's Just Not That Into You. It was funny and I would see it again, but it was also sad, true, depressing, frustrating and some how redemptive too. All this in less than two hours. I have always been one to say, why can't life be more like the movies, but after movies like this I leave wondering how could life be any more like the movies?
I sat a watched as girls like me read into what guys were or were not saying. As other women worked on steeling men that were not available, while knowing people like that or who have been on the other side of that watching their men cheat on them because of a newer model. Then there was the girl who was "stuck" in a wonderful relationship with the man she loved, who loved her, but had lost hope in ever getting married...I know too many people in this boat. And I was even moved by the guys claim that this was all he was able to offer and why was it not enough. I kind of had to agree with him at some point during the movie, as I watched "happy married's" putting up with each other but not loving each other. Then there was the girl who just wanted someone anyone, and could find not one, and the guy that just wanted the sexy girl so he could have her, not because he loved her, but he was willing to give her what "every girl" wants even though it was not what she wanted but he didn't know because he never really knew her.
As I watched all this unfolding before me, and I laughed, I also wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because no where in all of this jumbled up mess were the happily ever afters that I was fed as a child. And I realized that I didn't really expect there to be. That is really what the movie was about, He's Just Not That Into You, meaning that regardless of how hard we as females try or don't try, misread signals or lead people on, there is no fairy tale perfect way to love and be loved. It's Just Not Realistic to think that there is.
Real life is in fact a lot like this movie. Girls will always read into what a guy says and does or doesn't do or say. Girls will steal other woman's husbands and lovers, people will leave you a marriage right or wrong, some will stay in marriages or relationships that have turned out to be anything but perfect because they do not see another option or no longer care, some people will never find love, others don't want to. That is just life, and today I am kind of over it. I want to go back to the days when I believed in happily ever after, that marriage was for keeps, that divorce was a last resort and not something everyone did. I know that life and marriage and relationships are messy and not perfect, I am not asking for perfection, but I do want my hope restored. I want to have butterflies in my stomach over a guy and not think don't bother, cause eventually it will end. I want to be able to tell the students I love that marriage and happy marriage is possible.