Off my chest

I need to write. Writing is how I process and I need to process.  Since our return from Bolivia the first week of October my body has ached.  At first I wrote it off as the change in temperature. But it continued to worsen and about 2 weeks ago now I couldn't stand the pain in my body any longer.  There seemed to be 2 things at work against me; all over body aches, and pain in my breasts along with a lumpish mass in the left one. The body aches were becoming increasingly painful, I couldn't stand to be touched, it felt as though I had been used as a human punching bag and that my entire body was a giant bruise. 

As a mom this meant it was painful to hold my kiddo, as a wife I dreaded intimacy with my hubby, not because I dislike him, but because it felt like torture, not love to be held. You can imagine how heartbreaking that was.  No loving mom wants to say to her daughter, "mama cannot hold you right now, it hurts too much."

So, I gave up hoping it would pass and went to Doctors on Duty because our long term Family Doctor just closed her practice.  The Doc on duty drew my blood and said to check back in a week.  I left feeling  pushed aside and in as much pain as when I entered.  My follow up was scheduled for the following Saturday, (this being a Friday) but by the time Sunday rolled around I was in more pain than I could handle. Our Sunday night date night turned into a trip to the ER where they kindly gave me a shot in the ass to help with the pain, drew their own 10 vials of blood and prescribed some heavy duty pain killers to get me though.

I went to Doctors on Duty on Monday as instructed by the ER Doctor to follow up.  The Doc #2 said the blood work didn't show anything and I should see a Rumatologist because perhaps I had Fibromyalgia. (something I had suggested on my first visit) I asked them to check my breasts, because though I had mentioned it at the first appointment and at the ER no one had even checked.  When the Doc (Doc #3 a female) got around to me she was shocked by a red spot the size of a quarter on my right breast, about as shocked as I was, as that was not there in the morning when I got dresses.  I tried to get her to focus on the lump in the left and the severe pain in both but because of the red dot she was convinced I had an infection.  She prescribed 2 antibiotics one oral and one topical and a referral for a mammogram just incase.

I was notified the next day that though I had chosen Doctors on Duty as my new primary (not because I wanted to but because no one was taking new patients besides them) my decision would not actually take affect until Dec 1st, so while they did refer me the doctors may not take me because of this.  But that I could schedule the mammogram anyway and contact the Rumatologist to get on her schedule.

I quickly called to schedule the mammogram but the radiology office said I should not worry about a mammogram but just get an ultra sound. So, I scheduled that, but there were none available until Nov 28th. I then called to schedule with the rumatologist and there was no answer just a machine, I left a message. After no returned call, I called the next day and left yet another message.  This went on for a week. Until I followed up with my original blood work on Sat.  There I saw Doc #4 at Doctors on Duty a brand new Doc, who was kind but knew nothing of my case, having to explain all this to him for the uptinth time left me literally sobbing. 

He was appalled that the Radiology office had decided what I needed instead of following the recommendation of the referring Doc #3 so he said I should call and tell them I absolutely need a mammogram on both sides. As the pain is worsening daily, even though the red mark is less defined. He knew this because he gave me a breast exam while I was sobbing. He and the nurse were also frustrated that the Rumatologist had not even gotten back to me. Said they would also call there on Tuesday. He said the pain meds that I had run out of were no good if I did have Fibromyalgia and prescribed me an anti seizure med instead that he said may or may not work but could take up to a week to have any affect. I was again balling as my pain was overwhelming, and affecting all aspects of my life.

I went to the Pharmacy to pick up the prescription only to discover that Doc #4 was too new to be prescribing the meds he had told me about.  So, I left empty handed to take my daughter to a birthday party. While I was trying to enjoy the party, the kind Pharmacist did her best to solve the problem, found a comparable drug that he could prescribe and got the meds for me.

But here's the thing, the drugs, take at least a week to work, and can cause the same symptoms we were trying to cure. Knowing that this was going to be a battle, I had started doing some independent research on Google about Fibromyalgia and found that changes in diet might help so I has already eliminated everything except veggies and protein and water.  So, no pain relief, plus a killer caffeine withdraw headache was the icing on the cake.  Saturday was terrible.

Sunday was worse, as I took my second trip to the ER because the pain was just ridiculous. But ER Doc #2 was not nearly as helpful as Doc #1 and refused treatment. Said I should be seeing a Rumatologist...funny I said though gritted teeth as that is what I would love to be doing if only the Doctor would answer my calls.  The less than helpful ER Doc suggested I go to her office in the morning, and demand my appointment.

I slept for 4.5 hours that afternoon, and then slept all night, exhausted from the pain and the lack of answers and caffeine. In the morning I went to the Rheumatologists office to get an appointment.  The front desk gal said that they only schedule appointments after the doctor as decided to take on the patient,  and she hadn't looked at my case yet.  She was out and would look tomorrow and let me know. I let her know that it was completely unprofessional to not return messages, especially when I had left multiple messages, and that with 2 of them sitting at the desk they should be able to answer their phone and their messages. She told me they don't bother calling patients back until the doctor makes her decision. I said that was not acceptable when people are suffering and waiting on answers.

Surprise, surprise the rumatologist office did not call as promised today, until I called them at 2pm and again had to leave a message. They they left a message for me saying the doctor had decided not to see me.  What??! After waiting a week and a half the Doctor decided she didn't care to see me? What in the world kind of doctor is she?  There was no reason given for this decision only a suggestion to try and find someone else.

So, here I am in my livingroom having the least pain but still pain that I have had in 2 weeks, jotting down all my thoughts, because I cannot bring myself to have to explain all of this every time I have to see a new doctor and it appears that because I have Alliance I will have to continue to get less than quality care now that our beloved Doctor has gone.

I don't know if the new meds will work or not, but I do know that they have given me a crazy metallic taste in my mouth, that I can only rid myself of for a little while before it returns. I know that I don't like the way it makes me feel, and that the color of my urine is unsettling at an almost glow in the dark yellow/green.

I don't know what the mammogram that I confirmed again will say, but I pray the Doc will know something so they can do something, because I long to hold Kiley and Freddy with no pain. I don't know if they will find me a specialist who will see me, but you better believe I will be a thorn in their side until they do.

If you have Fibromyalgia and have wisdom, actual wisdom I would welcome it. But please don't tell me to exercise (I can barely move) when I can move, I am playing with Kiley, or working housekeeping.  I am attempting Yoga as I hear it may help, but don't tell me to lose weight, as I have no thyroid, and no metabolism, so even though I eat very little, and move a lot, I won't lose weight (even my Thyroid doctor agrees) But I welcome real advice, with the wisdom of experience.

If you read this far I am amazed, I mostly just needed to get all this on paper, and out of my head and heart, so I can focus on getting better.

You're Taking Her With You?!?!

You’re taking your baby with you? Everyone was in disbelief that we would embark on a cruise with our 21 month old.  Of course, we are taking her with us she is why we decided to go on a cruise rather than a flight to Dubai.

Our baby girl may only be just over 1 year old, but our desire is to travel and to have her see the world so had they stamped our passports in Mexico she would already have two stamps in her passport.  Sure, going on vacation with a kid is not as easy as it was when it was just hubby and I or when I was single, but that doesn’t make it bad.  Traveling with kiddos is challenging because it means you have to prepare, you have to take into consideration naps, toys, diaper changes and car seats and so much more.  However, when you explore the world with kids it forces you to slow down, to see things you would have missed and encourages you to dig deeper into the culture.

We chose to travel on the Carnival Imagination, it disembarked from Long Beach which gave us two options; quick but costly flight from San Jose to LAX or long drive down the coast with as many diaper change stops as needed and just a tank of gas. The drive down highway 101 sounded like the better option.  I meant we could save money, have a relaxing beautiful drive and not need to rent a car or get shuttles taken care of.  We decided that leaving first thing in the morning was the wisest choice as it would allow our daughter the opportunity to sleep for the major part of the trip.  Our plan worked!  Kiley slept from home till our stop in Carpentaria, leaving us only an hour and 20 min.  So, we got out did a diaper change walked around a bit and she was back to sleep for most of that last leg of the drive! 

Embarkation I knew would be a struggle, but we packed light and Kiley carried her own little ladybug backpack that she got on our trip to Bolivia a year ago. The lines were long, but we shuffled along and Kiley blew kisses and flirted with those in line making everyone’s journey just a little sweeter.

With the hard part of the trip over we were ready to relax and enjoy our vacation.  I had made sure to do my part ahead of time to make our trip less hectic. I had Carnival supply our room with a crib and we chose a room that had a window so we wouldn’t feel trapped.  I also asked for a room mid ship away from the elevators so that we would get the least amount of rocking (hoping to avoid seasickness) and noise from people returning to their rooms late at night.  My planning paid off, our room was great.  Kiley sleeping in the crib never happened, but hey, kids are kids.

Our time aboard ship mostly included relaxing by the pool, and eating more than anyone should.  We knew going into it that Kiley was too little for their kids programs so we were not thrown off by the fact that we had our little one in tow.  We also, decided that the options for excursions in Catalina and in Mexico were better left till the last moment, as there is no telling how your kid will be the day of.  

Our first stop was Catalina and we took our time to have a good breakfast before catching a boat ashore. This was a good choice, but it meant by the time we got off the boat the golf carts at the closest shop were already booked, with a line down the street. If you have never been to Catalina, it is gorgeous, but there really is very little to see or do.     I knew this ahead of time because of a little thing I like to call the Internet. So,  I also knew that the best way to spend our time was on a golf cart and that they would provide a car seat for Kiley.  So we wandered down to the last golf cart rental place and hopped on board and away we went.  Our drive around the little island offered up some stunning views and photo ops and it was also the perfect way for Kiley to take her morning nap! Score!

After a little souvenir shopping, we decided we would prefer an afternoon at the pool, so we headed back to the Imagination.  Back on board we had lunch at the buffet and then were disappointed to find that the pool was closed.  I never got a good answer as to why the pool was closed for the majority of our trip, but we just went with the flow and relaxed in the sun.  Kiley decided that it was time for an afternoon nap anyhow, and that a nap lounging on top of mom was the best kind.

Carnival does offer a program called Night Owls where parents with little ones can drop them off from 10pm-1am for a group babysitting if you will.  We decided to give that a go so we could dance a little.  Kiley went in no problem, but before we even had a chance to dance, the staff called to let us know she was very upset. By the time we got there she had puked all over one of them.  They were gracious and kind, and once we got her cleaned up she went to bed happy as a clam. (She throws up when she cries such fun) Oh well, so much for dancing the night away.

The next morning we woke up in Mexico.  We made our way to the dining room before leaving the ship, because why leave hungry, plus the dining staff on the ship were the best!  They absolutely adored Kiley and took such great care of us at every meal.  Once we set foot in Mexico it was time to figure out how to spend our day exploring Ensenada.

I had done my due diligence to know our options as they were offered on Carnival and ashore. So, we opted to ignore Carnival excursions and head out on our own.  Found a bus, which took us into town and then once on that bus discovered that they offered tours exactly where we would like to go and at less than half the cost of the same tour offered by Carnival.  So, we switched to the second us and got a tour out to see La Bufadora, which we were told is the second largest blow hole in the world, and a market where we could get some great fish tacos and other good food as well as a good place to barter for local souvenirs. 

I would love to tell you this was an amazing tour, I can tell you that our guide was super friendly and that he would make a great realtor as he spent most the time on the bus telling us the cost of buying property and why we should own a home in Ensenada. Kiley got a good nap on her Papa’s lap and we gazed out the windows as we passed; Costco, Home Depot, and McDonalds.  Not really what we had in mind, though not surprising. Once at our destination we made our way down the street sampling many versions of pina coladas and street food. We finally arrived at La Bufadora, and we waited expectantly to watch the ocean shoot up into the air.  We waited, and waited and then gave up and went to grab some lunch.

We ate up stairs at a little place with a great view of the Pacific Ocean and that is about all it had going for it.  Our tour guide had promised they had great ceviche which I had been craving, but his idea of great and my idea of great are not, as it turns out the same.  After our quick lunch complete with pineapples filled with pina coladas (yes we gave in) we went shopping.

Our shopping time was short because the bus was scheduled to leave and I wanted to try the “best handmade tortillas” before jumping on the bus back to town. This time the guide was right; the fish and steak tacos in the handmade tortillas were delicious.  Kiley napped on me the whole way back to the bus station.

Once back in town we wandered downtown and decided there was not really much to see and headed back. We had drink and some chips as we waited for our bus back to the ship. Ensenada was exactly what we were expecting so we were not disappointed, but had we not done our Google search pre-vacation I expect we would have been sorely disappointed. 

Our last day was a day at sea and the pool was finally open, it was also my husband’s birthday and there was a soccer match happening somewhere in the world. So, I let him enjoy the morning listening to the game sitting poolside and I took care of Kiley and her nap time.  Unfortunately there was some sort of maintenance happening outside our room resulting in loud banging. So, Kiley and I took a long walk around the ship and ordered her Papa a birthday cake to be delivered later that night. Finally, we headed back with the hopes that the banging had subsided. It had not, I called guest services and they said they would give me a credit for the inconvenience, the banging continued but by this time Kiley was too tired to care and she crashed. Her nap time gave me a chance to catch up on Facebook and watch Friends. Once she woke we headed up to find Freddy at the pool and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

When dinner rolled around we were once again treated warmly by the wait staff and enjoyed their song and dance routine. At the end of the meal they sang Happy Birthday to Freddy and presented him with a little cake.   We were so full from dinner that we left the other cake Kiley and I had ordered until morning. (yep cake in the morning, it’s vacation)

While this was not the best vacation ever, it was what we had expected.  It was all inclusive, it was economical and it was fun.  Cruises with a  kiddo are a nice way to go, there is something for everyone and you are always close to your room for a quick nap, diaper change (ah be forewarned there are no diaper changing tables in the restrooms) or just to escape if need be.  Everyday offered something new to do and it could all be done at our pace. Would we do it again?  No, probably not because we still have the rest of the world to explore!

Empty

I don't know if I have ever felt so empty.  (I am not being figurative, I am not depressed) I am literately running on empty and have been for a few weeks now.  Since the beginning of July I have had a pain on my front right side.  At first I figured I had popped a rib out, my ribs have a tenancy towards not wanting to stay where God put them . After a week or so the pain seemed worse and eating became painful.  I went to my Doctor (whom I love) and she thought that I may have gallstones and suggested an ultra sound. I got the first available appointment but it wasn't till the 3rd of August.

My body revolted July 31st and I ended up in the ER my stomach was not happy.  The stabbing pain had gotten much worse and I decided it would be best to get it checked out.  Hubby and I waited in the ER for 4 hours before being seen for an ultra sound and then eventually a doctor. He said my tests showed nothing and I could get discharged.  I was in shock. I was in pain I had not eaten for a few days, and they just wanted me to go home.  I threw a minor fit (I am not one to be pushy, but my hubby's ability to not put up with sh*# has rubbed off on me in the past few years) I asked the doctor what I was supposed to do about this pain and he said, "well it might be ulcers so you will need to get an endoscopy." I pointed out that I was in the hospital and that they could just do that. He informed me that the doctors who do that test don't work on the weekends. So I asked again what I was supposed to do until I could see the specialist. The discharge nurse, said he would get the doctor to write me a prescription for pain.  I said, "I am not asking for drugs, I am asking for a diagnosis and a plan." To which he replied, "well, this is an emergency room, so we don't have the ability to help you if it is not an emergency" WHAT?

I went home, in pain and annoyed that I had wasted 4 hours of my life.  I went to get my prescription for the pain medication then next morning since they were closed after we got done in the ER. And when I got to the counter to pay for my drugs I was told that my insurance was not valid any longer. WHAT? We had just been issued MediCal in May and now Aug 1 I am told it doesn't work?

I spent the next Monday on the phone with MediCal and Doctors trying to figure out a solution.  All I found out was that my Doctor was kind and saw me for free, but still had no clue what was going on without me getting further tests. Meanwhile MediCal was cancelled with no warning because they determined we make too much money, even though we have taken a huge pay cut in the last few months. Meaning that we would have to sign up for Covered CA (Obama Care) by Aug 15 but that it would not take affect until Sept 1. WHAT?

It is now 8/13/15 and I still am no closer to an answer, am ready to sign up for a Health Insurance plan with Covered CA, and still cannot eat without major pain. Meaning that I can at most eat a bit of rice or homemade chicken soup without hurting too bad.  And while I want to loose weight this is not the way to do it.(I am now 10lbs lighter than June.) Like I said, I am empty.  I have next to no energy to do life.  If I have a good day, I tend to over do it with walking or playing with my daughter and then end up in pain once again.

I hate that I could have something majorly wrong with me that might just be getting worse while I sit here unable to get answers because of the healthcare system.  It makes no sense to me that our state would determine that we make too much money to get MediCal for my hubby and I but not for our kid.  What good will it do for her to have healthcare if her mom or dad are unable to care for her well, because they are not well enough to do so.  It is a broken system.  I am not here to bash MediCal or Obama Care I am just stating that I in this moment am empty. 

I am hungry, tired, stressed, and annoyed that what I have might be nothing big and have been cured already or might be terrible and be getting worse the longer we are forced to wait.  It's times like this that I am ready to give up and move back to Italy or to Bolivia where I would get the help I need, when I need it.

Where did I go?

I haven't written for sometime.  For awhile I had so many things to write about I couldn't keep it all on one blog, but somewhere along the way I just stopped writing.  I've plopped down to write a few times and nothing would come.  Even now the struggle is real.  I have this deep longing to put words on paper but my heart and my mind seem to be jumbling my thoughts. 

So very much has changed since my last visit to this blog... Freddy is now my husband and we are happily married and living in California and have a beautiful spunky baby girl who is almost 1.  Yes, quite a few changes in 3 years.

The road to here was filled with highs and lows but it is impossible to fill you in on all you have missed.

I do miss writing, I miss sharing life with those who read, and I miss reading their stories as well.  In someways it seems that I have lost some of myself these last 3 years, and yet I know that I have also grown and changed in huge ways too.  So, I guess I am just wandering back into the blogging world to see if I can work out who I am now in comparison to who I was when I started blogging.

The Story Of Us

After reading a comment on a recent post on good old Facebook I came to the realization that though it feels like I have been able to tell lots of people about Freddy and I there are still friends who are out of the loop. So to remedy that situation, here is the story of us...

Before moving to Rome to serve as a missionary in 2010 I went thought a year or more of training, but I also fell in love with Salsa dancing and began taking classes in Santa Cruz. I enjoyed it so much I would even go by myself. During my last few Salsa lessons at the Palomar I thought to myself, I wonder if I can find a place to continue learning when I get to Rome, it would be a great way to meet people, even before I can speak the language.

Fast forward a bit...Turns out that one of the guys who started attending out home group Bible study was a Salsa instructor. He also was in need of some work, so I arranged to pay him for some lessons. After a few lessons he determined that I wasn't half bad and wanted to take me out to some Salsa Club in Rome so I could practice with other people. Sounded completely fun and intimidating to me, so I said yes.

When we arrived he introduced me to Freddy saying, "Dance with him, he is a great dancer and good guy I have known him forever." So, Freddy and I danced a few times that night and afterwards Daniel (our mutual friend) asked me what I thought of Freddy. I said, "he seemed nice." Daniel was not satisfied with that answer, because he thought I should really LIKE Freddy, and asked again. I explained that I had not really known him enough to LIKE him, and that it appeared to me that he was there with a girl so, case closed.

However, the case reopened the next time I went out dancing with Daniel and it turned out that we were going with Freddy and he was the DJ. Freddy and I talked and danced the whole time he was not DJing and though I was not allowed to date because of my position job I think it is safe to say looking back that we started falling in love that night...though if you ask Freddy he will tell you he knew the first time we met that I was different from every other girl he has ever known, and that he wanted to know me more. So maybe for him it was love at first sight.

We spent a lot of time together with his friends and family the next few months, and the more I got to know him and his family the more I fell in love. When I resigned from my job last June, we "officially" started "dating" But I was in CA and he was in Italy and Bolivia (where he is from) So, we dated long distance.

I returned to Rome in November. Finally together and allowed to date and figure things out after 6 months apart. We spent our 2nd Christmas together with his family. His sister and brother and law live here with him, and they had their first baby, so his mom and other sister were here to celebrate with us. I had met his mom before but this was the first time I met his sister. I just love his family.

Right before his mom left I asked her permission to marry her son (I asked in Spanish, with some help from Freddy) This was important to him, and part of his tradition. She gave her blessing. Then a week ago, Freddy and I skyped with my parents...


and Freddy asked my parents permission to marry me (insert HUGE smile)

I was there as translator, Freddy had prepared what he wanted to say, (he told me a head of time that he had got some words of wisdom from his mom on their way to Madrid) So, he said in Italian and I repeated in English (while blushing)...

"That he has known me for over a year now and from the first time he saw me he knew he liked me a lot, and wanted to know me more. I am unlike any woman he has ever known, I am a wonderful woman with good character and that is what drew me to him..."

Then he asked in English..."I would like your permission to marry your daughter."

Then may parents spent an hour asking him questions such as... what are 3 things you love about Trinity, and 1 thing you cannot stand?

" Like I said I love her character, but I also love that we can talk, we communicate well, and we are of one accord. She is the one I want to be with forever and start a family with. I hate that she drinks cappuccino all the time and that she cracks her neck!

Tell us about your Relationship with Jesus...

"I grew up knowing about Jesus and in a relationship with Him, my mom and dad are Christians too. I went to a Christian School. I read the Bible and Pray, but not as much as Trinity. When we are together I will go to church with her. (right now work is in the way)
What will you do to help Trinity grow Spiritually and Emotionally?
We will read the Bible together at night before we go to bed, so that we can dwell on His Word throughout the night.

Are you willing to go through pre-marital counseling? YES

If we say no, what will you do?

To which he responded: Steal her and take her to Bolivia to live with me forever On and on...

In the end they asked him to make a promise in his own words to them to care and love me...

"I promise to always be close to Trinity. When things are good and when things are bad. I promise I will never leave her EVER if she is sick or healthy, if we are poor or rich. I will love her and stay with her forever."

After which they finally said yes!

Then on Saturday when we met for what I thought was going to be lunch he offered to wander the streets of Rome with me, one of my favorite things to do, but not one of his (as he has lived here for almost 6 years) Then as we started walking he suggested we be looking for my engagement ring, so that he would be sure to get something I was happy with. So we meandered our way though Rome for 5 hours browsing the ring selection.

So there you have it friends we are one step closer to getting married!!! We also found a plane ticket for me to come home to CA so you can mark your calenders...Your friend will be home Feb 19th!

At which time I am hoping to jump full time into a job, so if you know of one please let me know. I will turn in our request for a fiance visa and really get this party started.


Thanks for sharing in our story, can't wait for you to meet him! So, pray the documents go though so much faster than normal :)

Don't know if you Heard?

Hey so as it turns out I am now more than just a blogger. I am an author. That's right blogger friends, I have published my first book and it was to be sure a scary and intimidating process. I am not the only author of the book, I along with 3 other of my dear friends spent one year contributing stories from our lives as single 30-something women living on four different continents. I gathered up all these wonderful tales and made them into a book. The book is titled "Single Minded" and you can get your very own e-book copy of this book from Amazon.

It is harder than you would imagine to take your life and put it on display for the world to see, but we 4 gals did our best to lay it all out on the table, hoping to paint a picture (or 4) of what it really looks like for 4 single girls to live out their faith, and ministry in four very different parts of the world. I truly hope you enjoy and are challenged and stretched by the lives shared on these pages.

gratitudine

I might not be celebrating Thanksgiving this year, but I thought I would at least share what I am thankful for:

1. God's plan. And when I say this I don't mean His plan for my life, I mean His Plan that is so much bigger than me.

2. Family -My family at home in the states, my family here in Rome and the family that is in Bolivia.

3. Freddy

4. Friends - New and Old.

5. Work...something I always took for granted but after 6 months of not really working, I am thankful for employment. I am also thankful that Freddy has work.

There is more, but those are the top 5

life in translation

It may not be true for everyone who attempts to learn a new language, but for me learning Italian was far more than just learning how to speak using words I that had been previously unknown to me.  Learning a new language meant that I had to learn how to express all that I am in a fresh vocabulary.  It meant that I could not rely on sarcasm, or humor or even intelligence (not right away).  Not even how you moved your hands or your normal facial expressions were a sure fire bet that you were going to be understood.

While this learning process is far from over, I was pretty sure that transitioning back into my native mother tongue would prove simple.  I was mistaken.  Before I lived in Italy for 9 months I had never once had any issue ordering at a Mexican restaurant.  But, since returning it is just one of the many things I struggle with.  Now I feel like I should order in Spanish (another language I heard a lot of in Italy, but do not speak), thankfully my brain knows that while I may very well understand far more Spanish than I ever have I do not know it.  What my brain seems to forget is that I do not need to thus switch to Italian to compensate for my lack of Spanish.  So what happens is when it is my turn to order I think in Spanish, I begin to utter Italian and then I clumsily finish in English and end up just sounding incompetent.

Another fun side effect Italian has had on my brain is that whenever I need to call someone (anyone) I think the whole conversation through in Italian first, just to be sure I know how to say what I need to tell them in Italian.  Never-mind the tiny detail that very rarely does the person on the other end need me to speak in Italian   For example, this morning after having been home for over 3 months I needed to call to schedule a doctors appointment.  Before calling, I thought to myself...

Vorrei un appuntamento con il Dottore. Ho anche bisogno di ottenere alcuni esami del sangue fatto.

 

This is highly unnecessary, but I do this before almost every phone call or important conversation.  I have no idea why, habit I suppose. 

 

Then there are the people I still speak to in Italy, I love chatting with them, they are beyond patient with  my faltering Italian.  The thing is after I finish talking with them I want to share about our conversation with my friends and family here, but that means I need to translate their humor and voice into English, and it just never seems to capture the truth of who they are.

It's a funny thing living life in multiple languages.  I cannot imagine what it must be like for my friends who speak 3-7 languages fluently.  I admire them greatly and would imagine that their inter dialogue is pretty amusing at times.

   

Pinterest my new addiction

Okay so I will readily admit that I am a Pinterest addict, thanks to a number of friends who introduced me.  What is Pinterest?  It is a different kind of social network of sorts and kinda like your bookmarks tool all wrapped up into a visual wonderland for those of us who love to be inspired to do or at least admire what others do. 

Basically, you make online bulletin boards which you can label as you please and then each time you come across some picture or idea online that fits one of your bulletin boards you can pin it to that board.  Then you and others around the world can come back and look at all your nifty ideas any time you like.   I realized very quickly that just pinning things to the boards I had created was not going to be a good option.  What good are 20 random bulletin boards if you never actually use any of the inspiration on them?

So...I made a board and labeled it "Even I can Do This" and I am determined to take things from that board and others like my; "Cookin Good" or "Oh the Places I'll Go" board and make sure they get moved onto my boards such as; "Inspiration Realized" or "Been There Saw That".  I took it this next extra step, because I did not like the idea of coming back again and again to get inspired and then look back at the end of the year and realize just how lame and lazy I can be.  I am proud to say that in the past few weeks I have in fact moved a lot of ideas around. 

I Made Father's Day Gift Card for my Dad:

The Inspiration

My Version

 I made Garden Marker Rocks for my Mom:

The Inspiration

My Version

 

 

 

  

 I made Cinnamon Swirl Pancakes:

The Inspiration

My Version while cookin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then Today I made Rosettes after watching a tutorial on someone's board:

 

I'm Just Sayin

So I was sitting down watching Jon Stewart and all the sudden there were all sorts of
 butts shaking around the screen.  A "commercial" for some video of great butts...( I am not even going there)  Aside from the obvious point that I just don't want to see that what got me thinking was the little black box in the bottom corner of the screen that looked like this

 What in the world?  TV for Mature Audiences?  Are you kidding me?  Are you saying that Mature people would like to watch this?  Or are you saying that this video contains Mature people?  No matter what angle you were looking at this video there is no way you can look at drunk girls behaving badly and think Maturity has anything to do with this.  I'm Just Sayin.

Summer Lovin

I love Leverage just thought you should know. Not enough of my friends have discovered this show yet.

I also love Burn Notice. So I am thankful for summer shows that run when all the other shows end.

I am Also pretty excited that Next Food Network is starting Sunday.

Yep. That is about it. Just thought you should know in case you need a new addiction or three.


Oh and I almost forgot, if you missed the first season of Parenthood you should check it out online, get caught up and add it to your list of new favorite shows.


Okay now that is it.

Just an idea

As I have been spending the last 10 days thinking A LOT about Haiti and the people there I have come up with an idea. I thought this might be a good place to air it out.

What if in stead of handing out tents and tarps to those left homeless by the quake, we pull up some ships and load them up with anyone wanting a place to stay. Now hear me out.

There are lots of old military ships or cruise ships that are waiting to be bought or scrapped, so if instead for the time being they were lent to the relief efforts we could offer safe dry housing to the 30,000 Haitians who are without. While they are on board they can get cared for, fed and even start getting their records taken care of.

Meanwhile on shore workers can start to remove all the rubble and begin to help rebuild PORT-AU-PRINCE. If, desired people could be transported back and forth from the ships to the land to help with the reconstruction and care of the new city. Others could take classes online, to help them in the future. Those who escaped from prison or who cause problems can be taken to a "prison boat" so they are no longer a threat to those just trying to survive. Mostly it would provide a central location and safety for the people who desire it so that we could more effectively help them begin the recovery process. Grief counselors and doctors could have other boats like Mercy Ships that those in need of medical care could be taken too. This would provide a cleaner more effective way of meeting the needs of people and begin to cut down on the diseases that are only going to worsen in the rainy season that is about to unfold.

I know that this would take a large effort, but in the long run big picture I think it is a more workable plan. Hey its a plan. One that cares for the needs of people and provides a way to get them out of the way so that demolition and rebuilding can begin.

10 thoughts on a rainy day

1. Read Mountains Beyond Mountains. I cannot recommend this book more...In brief it is the story of how one mans passion and determination changed the world for a community in Haiti. In light of all that is going on in Haiti it is filled with good insight into the people and the nation. A challenging and inspiring read.

2. Why can we not just vaccinate everyone in the world who needs it? We have the stuff, people are giving the money...lets get this done.

3. Proverbs 3

4. Why can't Facebook make up it's mind? Just pick a format and stick with it.

5. I have 5 friends with Birthdays today.

6. Plain Folgers Coffee with Cinnamon and Sugar and a splash of Vanilla in the mix makes for some yummy morning goodness.

7. If the Film and Television industry in CA would give just 1% of it's revenue to the State of CA we might not be in debt, and they would hardly miss it. Makes sense to me.

8. When we started caring for Haiti we stopped focusing on our economic problems! hmmm...just saying.

9. I made dinner last night Roasted a Chicken, stuck my hands in and pulled out it's guts. It took forever to cook, and I was not happy with the results, it tasted fine, but it was just not as good as I had dreamed it would be. I wanted the honey glaze to turn golden brown and crispy, which is how the part that went back in the oven during dinner ended up, but then it was too late for us to enjoy. Maybe I will enjoy it as a snack later. This is what it was supposed to look like. But alas it did not.

10. My heart is breaking for Haiti, and I am having a hard time focusing on much else. Maybe that is how it should be.
If you have not heard I am waiting to see if I will be heading to Haiti to help.

All I Want For Christmas

It is this time of year when we start to make Christmas lists in our heads if not on paper of all the things we would love to get. Well, this Christmas all I really want is to be in Rome, serving along side my team. I don't want stuff, I don't want more clothes, or even cool gadgets, all I want is to be able to say I have finished raising all my support and that I can pack my bags and begin this ministry in Rome.

So if you want to get me something this Christmas that I really want, don't head to the store, or pick up your knitting needles, just join my financial support team and make my Christmas wish come true!

I need $6295 a month pledged for my Christmas Wish to come true. Right now I have $2465. How sweet would it be to have my Support raised by Christmas and be able to point to Jesus on the day we celebrate His birth and thank Him for the lovely gift of love in His great provision, and then to spend the rest of my year serving him in Rome as a thank you for all they ways He has blessed me again and again!

Jesus is after all the Reason for the Season, and if my only gift was what made it possible for me to serve Him all year long doing what He has called me to do it would just be soooo cool!

If you want to give towards my best Christmas Present Ever and the work of God in Rome, just click the link below!

Trinity's Christmas Gift

This Is - old news

For the faithful few you may recall that last October I posted about my Halloween Costume "old news" when inspired by Project Runway I made my own outfit out of newspaper. Now it turns out I may have inspired Project Runway.

This weeks mission on PR was for them to make an outfit out of Newspaper! I watched as they struggled with some of the same issued me and my assistant (Brianna) had as we made our dress. They came up with some fantastic looks, but I was still pretty proud of the dress Brianna and I put together.

The contestants had many things to their advantage. First and Foremost they are designers, I took a sewing class when I was 10 or 11. They had forms to build their outfits on and adequate workspace, I had my kitchen floor. They had sewing machines I had packaging tape. They had rolls of newsprint if they wanted, I had old Good Times or Growing Up in Santa Cruz papers.

With all that in mind I think Brianna and I could have totally held our own. We rocked it out in the same time frame, we also completed a belt and a hand bag.

just in case you needed a laugh

My littlest sister posted this on her facebook, and it made me laugh. Thought you might enjoy!